David vs. Goliath: Up Against 5 Lawyers

Below is a letter I wrote to the adversary lawyers of The Last Resort. I sent this letter along with a book by Dahr Jamal, The End of Ice.


To The Lawyers Five,
I’m sending each of you a copy of Dahr Jamail’s book “The End of Ice”. This is not a gift nor can it be construed as a bribe. The book has no value but the information it contains is priceless. The Smithsonian has called it one of the ten best science reads. Its pages are few, less than one inch, which palls in comparison with the mountains of paperwork I’ve received you all. Our survival as a species is dependent not on money we have in the bank but how we respect and honor that which gives us life. I’m slightly ashamed to admit I’ve had to draw courage from a sixteen year old Swedish girl named Greta. She and I speak the same language. It may not be the tongue of lawyers but Dahr Jamail’s book can do the translation.


Reading it may indeed save you from the confusion of your children and grandchildren who will not understand your morality and your motivation in shutting down The Last Resort and making me homeless. Of course you all need to be paid for the time you spend being on the right side of the law. I’m “guilty as sin” as my seventh lawyer told me. I accept that and understand I must be punished and made to pay heavy fines and penalties. Blood must be drawn to discourage others from considering doing the same. My tea business is having record sales. Money is available for reasonable code upgrades, maintenance, and paying down my bill to the County and Receiver. But expecting me to come up with a million dollars by March 12th is not going to happen.


You’ve already succeeded in scaring off several Lagunitas Project board members with the sword of liability hanging over their heads. Depending on your presentation to the judge, it may be game over for me on that day and I’ll be forced to hit the road and you’ll inherit many valuable possessions of mine, including a million dollar tea collection. You will not be able to sell my tea at that price, and neither could I in a quick fire sale. Its value is in keeping thousands of tea drinkers happy over many years…
David Lee Hoffman, CDO
Interim Curator of The Last Resort

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